My dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer some time last year, and it was uncertain how long he’d have to live, it could have been weeks, months, whatever. He seemed pretty good for quite a few months, but this summer he started to slowly deteriorate and getting weaker and weaker. The last few weeks it got even more serious, and it became apparent that he wouldn’t have much time left now. Even so, it didn’t seem as imminent as it turned out to be. On Monday morning my parents went to the hospital because of some trouble, but I still didn’t expect to get a phone call from my mom only a few hours later that I should come down and that he was indeed on his way to die. By the time I got there he wasn’t conscious, and he was just lying there with an empty look in his eyes while you could see his chest rise up and down with his breath, almost like his body was just doing it automatically trying to keep on going for a bit longer. It became quite emotional being there and seeing him like that, knowing he could die at any moment. I’ve never cried as much as I did through-out that day. Spent quite a few hours at the hospital with the closest family members visiting as well. Eventually I went home for a bit to try and get some sleep as I had been up well over 24 hours by that time. I took a shower and went to sleep, only to be awakened an hour later without really getting any rest at all, with my uncle telling me that I should really come down again by now. Before I had gotten back he was already dead. I don’t really know what more to write about it all, everything still seems rather strange. Worst day in my life to put it short.

Been a strange few weeks, I’ve had the best day of my life, along with my worst. Guess it’s like they say, take the bad with the good. Only now it seems that the good part has a possibility of becoming shattered as well. My hopes for something more happening with Tina took a rather severe blow yesterday, and I’m not sure what will happen next. It’s hard to try and stay positive about everything right now, but I guess I have to.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 17th, 2007 at 14:54 and is filed under Emo, Love life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.