I’ve wanted to write this entry for a few days now, but I hadn’t quite found the words yet. Plus, I wasn’t sure that I wanted to share this with everybody just yet. In a way I feel a bit silly saying this, but I realized that I shouldn’t, because it’s very much a real thing.

So here’s what’s happened: I’ve fallen in love with somebody for the first time in my life… over the internet. Until now I’ve been one of those people who thought that falling in love with someone over the internet was a bit silly and hard to believe. How can you fall in love with someone you haven’t even met? Talking to someone, meeting them and then falling in love: quite understandable. But not even meeting them?

Well my perception of that changed rather quickly. I’ve talked to a few girls over the years, and have indeed been taken by someone at several occasions, but it has never amounted to anything more than that.

Then about a month ago I started talking to this girl named Lauren. She is 20 years old and lives in the Philippines, 9700km away from me. We hit it off pretty quickly and it all went downhill from there (in the most positive way mind you). She is super intelligent, funny, beautiful beyond belief, and generally just totally out of my league. It all went so unbelievably fast, suddenly she said she was in love with me. It left me confused, flustered and completely stunned. It took me a day or two to sort my feelings out, but I realized I was in love with her as well.

Never having been in love before, I’ve always wondered if love was just a word people “automatically” used in relationships, if they really mean it, or whether it really was a true feeling you got. Would I ever recognize this feeling? How would I know if I truly was in love with someone?

I didn’t have to wonder too long, because out of nowhere my head was filled with feelings I’ve never felt before, it was like a constant rush of adrenaline. There was no question that I was indeed in love with this girl, she has filled me with previously unknown emotions and I’ve never felt happier in my entire life. It’s like eating vanilla ice cream all your life in ignorance, then suddenly discovering that you can cover it with this magical caramel sauce.

She has made me appreciate life a lot more, and for once in my life, I actually feel like doing something about it and be a better person (pardon the clichè).

I’m trying to be realistic about it all and not get my hopes up too much, but there is no point being pessimistic about something like this. At this point I’m totally dedicated and commited to her and I don’t want anybody else, even if she’s not my girlfriend or anything like that just yet.

For those who does not know, I’ve been planning a trip to Japan for a while now, and I’m hoping to realise the dream of mine to go there some time next year. I asked her to come with me. If the feelings are still the same in the future, then I’m hoping to meet her there and see if anything comes out of it.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 13th, 2006 at 07:26 and is filed under Love life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.